To My Niece on Her 17th Birthday
L.C. Hill
It is unbelievable to me that you are already seventeen. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young woman. And while you are truly beautiful on the outside, it is who you are inside that radiates your true beauty into this world.
I remember you so clearly when you were just this little girl with fire in her very soul. You were so strong willed even then. I told your mom that I was so happy you were so unfailingly sure of yourself because it would serve you well in life. I was so grateful because you were going to grow up to be the woman who wouldn’t take crap from anyone. No one will be able to break you. Your heart may break and you may have moments your whole self feels broken. But nothing will ever break you at your core. You came into this world one of the strongest people I have ever met and that has never changed.
I wish for you so many things. I wish for you that life will treat you well. I wish for you that love will treat you well. But the thing I hope most for you is that you are as lucky as I am in this life to have known you and your family. You already have such a leg up to have your mother. I know it’s the one thing I’ve had that has always carried me through for the last thirty-four years. You are strong enough to stand on your own, but you will never have to and that is the best thing you will ever know in this life.
We aren’t bound by blood but I have never thought of you as anything but family. I am your mother’s sister. DNA could not bind us more than we are bound by choice. I look at you and your brothers and I see what a beautiful thing your mother has created. No matter what I accomplish in this lifetime, I will never accomplish more than she has in bringing all of you into this world and gifting it with truly good human beings. It is something to behold.
You are something to behold. Do not ever forget that or let anyone tell you differently. People will try to. It is an unfortunate fact of life, and I doubt there’s a person on this planet who hasn’t experienced it. But you have the strength to ignore the naysayers. You will be successful at anything you do, whatever that is, and I have no doubts at all about that.
And please do whatever it is you want to do. Follow your passions, however many of them you have or how they change through the years. Do the things that make you happy and pursue the dreams that make your soul sing. When you find something you love, do it regardless of how much money or sense it makes. Life doesn’t make sense so do not waste time trying to make sense of it by doing things the world expects you to do. Make waves. Make tsunamis with things you are passionate about, no matter the outcome. We get this one life. We make it count by doing.
Fail often because it will make you better at anything you do and inevitably lead to success. Do not stop when failure steps in your way. Life is not a straight line so step around failure in your path and keep going. Leave it behind you and hold onto the lessons it teaches you. Be grateful for it. We all believe failure is bad but it can be the best thing that ever happens to you. When you succeed, and you will, it will be sweeter for the failure.
Do not waste time on anything or anyone that makes you unhappy. Spend this life with people who love you fiercely just as you are. I cannot stress this enough. You will never have anything more important than people who won’t stop loving you. The number of people has no bearing at all. You only need a few people to love you like that to live your best life.
Tell people you love them when you do, and do not let someone’s inability to love you make you think that you are somehow not loveable. Do not let it stop you from loving with all your heart again. What we gain from going all in is far more than what we lose if it doesn’t work out. Love really does make the world go ‘round.
Love yourself fiercely, too. Love yourself just as much as you would love other people. Actually, love yourself more than you love other people and do not for one moment believe that makes you selfish. How much we love ourselves is everything. It will carry you through anything no matter how much you are hurting. In the end, it is what saves us—more even than the love of other people.
Do not get too caught up in the constructs of time but do live with the urgency that time is finite. Live your best life every day even if your best doesn’t feel like it’s what the world expects from you. Chase every minute of the day with as much as you can give it, even if that means sitting quietly with a hot beverage and doing nothing but being with yourself.
Celebrate every birthday with as much enthusiasm as you will celebrate this one. As you grow older, you may be inclined to stop looking forward to them because it means you are a year older. Do not waste birthdays being sad about them. You have made it another year and that is something to celebrate no matter how old you are.
And last, but not least, eat cake. Birthday cake is the best tasting cake. It is not the time for counting calories. It’s the time to count accomplishments, the time to count memories, the time to look around at faces you love. But it is never the time to worry about calories.
Have the happiest of birthdays, dear Emma. I love you.